Hi everybody, it’s me again, I hope you don’t think I’ve forgotten you and I hope you haven’t forgotten me. Yes it’s Scary October but not scary because of Halloween. 🎃 Instead October is scary because my husband needed Prostate Cancer surgery on October 4th.
With my husband‘s prostate cancer diagnosis this past summer the last few months have just been a whirlwind of meeting with doctors, meeting with surgeons, meeting with radiologists and finally deciding on having surgery at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. The month of September alone was crazy; with two in-person appointments for my husband, two virtual appointments for him, one appointment for our dog, one appointment for my mom and me at the helm coordinating it all. In addition to keeping track of all the appointments that needed to take place before his surgery, I also had to think about me! Who was going to be there to help me since my husband would be unable to lift me while he heals after surgery. Once again I am reminded, slapped in the face so to speak, that I am no longer normal. Being a #llittle person and #paralyzed prevents me from helping my husband in any real capacity but instead adds one major problem, of trying to find someone to help me as my husband will not be able to lift me for a minimum of two weeks. This someone needs to be able to lift me periodically throughout the day.
Now let’s think about this, lift me ‘periodically throughout the day.
MORNINGS – in the morning I need help getting out of bed, using the bathroom and then back into my #wheelchair. Now that’s really all I need. What time do I wake up? What time do I need to go to the bathroom? Whaaa?? 😲 Okay, to help my husband in one of the few ways I can, I schedule a person to come around 8:30 am (no sleeping in allowed for a few weeks). My husband is not going to be so incapacitated that he’s not able to get himself and me a cup of coffee ☕ in the morning and throughout the day. AFTERNOONS -So, how do I predict when my bladder is going to tell me ‘guess what it’s time to use the restroom’!! So, once again, to help my husband one of the few ways I can, I do the best I can and I come up with well I’ll wait about 4 to 5 hours and have somebody come back to help me use the bathroom (needed or not it’s time to go!) Here we go again, I guess my bladder is not in control for next few weeks because it doesn’t matter what the bladder tells me, what matters is what time the person helping me is available to come back. EVENINGS – So again I estimate 4 to 5 hours and have somebody come back. By this time it’s dinner time 🍽️. After this person assist me with my now scheduled potty break 🚽 that’s all i need until it’s time to go to bed 🛌.
I am extremely thankful for Home Care Angels, LLC! They are local to me, the owner Debbie is so kind and understanding and the best part is they found me a WONDERFUL young woman who lives literally around the corner and has no problems lifting me. I am absolutely blessed to have found Home Care Angels, LLC thanks to one of my cousins!
Another one of my cousins was gracious enough to 1) spend night before surgery with us so that she would be able to drive 🚗 herself and me back home after surgery. 2) spent night of surgery with me to both help me with everything I need and drive 🚗 her and I back down to #MSK in #NYC day after surgery to pick my husband and drive 🚗 us home; my husband isn’t allowed to drive for 10 days (while he has catheter). 3) spent night after surgery with us to again help me with everything I need and to be there to help my husband if needed. 4) During the 3 nights my cousin spent with us, she also did laundry, wiped down my kitchen cabinets, dusted, vacuumed, prepared dinner (she prepared a couple meals prior to coming so we only needed to heat) and served us, washed dishes, and then ended up cleaning our entire living carpet with my #Bissell carpet cleaner (my husband’s catheter bag accidently spilled his first night home).
In addition, I am planning what I can buy at the grocery store that is simple and easy for him to stick in the oven or the microwave. So my go to is always quiche! I love quiche so does he so we’re going to get at least two quiches one for each week. Now of course there’s always Chinese food which we can order out one night and the Chinese portion usually last me two nights. Unfortunately, my husband cannot eat Chinese because of his salt intolerance but on that night he’s able to have a bowl of soup or a grilled cheese sandwich so it won’t be too much of a problem. Now dinner is over and gee what time am I going to go to bed? Once again, it’s not when I want to but it’s when I’m able to get someone here to help me. In an effort of not being too late, I say anywhere between 8:30pm and 9:30pm , as long as it’s convenient for the person available to come I can get in the bed at that time. And to be real there are many TV shows that I do like to watch while I’m laying in bed so it’s OK and more importantly, if it works for my husband, I’ll do it!
And in the middle of all this my mother, my cousin and I decide we’re going to have a yard sale… What are we crazy….YES but we did it. That meant helping my mother clean out some and I repeat some of her attic and basement which has accumulated 60 years worth of things. Some of which are sentimental and she wishes to keep and some she was willing to depart with which I am very proud of her because she is very sentimental person. My mom normally wants to keep everything. So in between cleaning out her attic cleaning out her basement making signs to post on line as well as around our town. Four days later we were ready to sell! We had our yard sale on Saturday and Sunday, make a little 💲 and had a few laughs!
Oh and did I mention that my husband and I ended up taking a speedy trip out to Elkhart, IN to meet with the team at who are customizing our class B RV! We left on a Thursday evening (prior to surgery of course) and drove straight through to Elkhart. We meet the team on Friday morning and discussed our needs and wants and picked out some colors, etc. Friday late afternoon we took a little time to visit Notre Dame – wow! The campus is huge and very impressive. The Friday evening we started driving home but did not drive straight through due to heavy rain. We thoroughly enjoyed our quick trip across the “corn fields of America.”
So while last few months have been very busy, I think we are now back under control!
As always, I wish you a journey filled with exploring new people, places and things – take time to learn from and enjoy each new adventure along your way!
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One thought on “Scarry October”
Wow, busy month for you. Prayers for you and Kurt