Hello friends, so it’s been a little while since I’ve blogged, actually my last blog was on November 4th when our BIG announcement that we are getting married was revealed. Finally after being together for 17 years we are finally saying the words. . .”I DO.” 👰🤵
It amazes me how much there is to do for a wedding. . .even a small wedding!! The location,💒 the food🥗, the cake🍰, the decorations✨, the pictures/photographer📷, (we are holding at small local hall so all decorations, food, table setting🍽️, etc. we need to provide), the music🎵, the invitations and of course, the dress! Now mix in that I’m a #paralyzed #little_person in a #wheelchair, not easy, at least not easy for me.
PRE #PARALYSIS WEDDING DREAMS
Every little girl dreams of the day she gets married, the day she is a princess! However, dreaming of getting married as a little person looks much different than most little girls’ dream’s. As a result, for me, publicly I always said I did not want a big wedding, that IF I ever got married, I’d elope. Eloping would avoid the awkward walking down the isle, the father/daughter dance and of course the special Mr. & Mrs. dance🕺💃. Privately however, I still dreamed of that special day.
Then I met him, the man of my dreams, my Honey! WOW, could it be, could I finally be getting married at my age. . .YES! Now what? Publicly I’ve said no wedding wedding, yet privately I dreamed… Hence my Godmother/cousin steps in and becomes an official ordained minister 🦹🏻♂️! She is now able to fully preform the ceremony and offers her home as the location! I am so grateful for all she has done for me my entire life, not just as a cousin, not just as my Godmother but as a caring and loving person. Ironically, she and her husband gave my Honey and I the money to buy our rings way back 16 years ago when we first became engaged💍, LOL. So having her actually officiate my wedding is so very special. 💕 What happened next, one of my other cousins jumped in offering to help with decorations, asking who else I wanted to invite, and…before I knew it, I was actually getting excited. I was having a wedding!
POST #PARALYSIS WEDDING DREAMS
Never would I ever have dreamed I’d be getting married in a wheelchair👩🦽! Being a little person alone makes those wedding dreams different, but add in being in a wheelchair, OMG, where to begin.
- LOCATION: Now we need to remember, my Dad is 84, on oxygen and in a wheelchair himself, however, I still WANT him to “walk” me down the isle. I /we picked a very small location about 2 miles from my parent’s house as I am hoping beyond all hope that he will be well enough to at least be able to be present for the ceremony.
- FOOD: THANKFULLY my cousins have totally taken care of the food!
- INVITATIONS: once again, one of my cousins came to the rescue to not only make me feel like we were having a “real wedding” with invitations and all but she made them herself!
- DECORATIONS: once again, my cousins have this under control. My Godmother’s husband is making a “wedding arch” complete with flowers & lights for us to “stand” (a.k.a. sit) under. Flowers for the tables, my bouquet, my Honey’s Boutonniere
- THE CAKE: ahh, the cake topper, I actually jumped in on this because I did not want the standard/traditional bride/groom STANDING on top. I went online and began searching for wheelchair bride and found the perfect cake topper! As wonderful as my Mother and cousins have been as far as organizing, planning and preparing, they don’t always remember to think of certain elements from a wheelchair bride’s perspective/needs.
- Then the cake itself. I struggled quietly with this for a while. I knew that the traditional “the bride cuts the cake,” “the groom cuts the cake” was not going to work for me/us. I would not be able to reach to cut a traditional cake. What to do…how can I make this work weighed heavy on my mind. Then I finally thought of cupcakes! After again going online, I discovered that cupcake wedding cakes are actually a thing…who knew! Half of my problem is now solved, I know what we will have, then came where to get the cupcakes. Once again, another cousin, who is an actual certified chef, steps in and offers to make my cupcake wedding cake! How blessed am I!
- THE CEREMONY: how will this actually work, who stands/sits where, how I walk/ride down the isle, etc. Sounds pretty straight forward I guess. Hopefully my Father will be able to be there and IDEALLY my Mother will push my Father down the isle and I will ride myself beside my Father. Yes it’s simple, but it still pulled/ pulls at my heart strings.
- WITNESSES: while we were not actually having an official maid of honor or bridesmaids or a best man, we still legally need two witnesses, hence the best man and maid of honor. OMG, how grateful am I for my cousins! Again, one of my cousins is my official/unofficial maid of honor and one of our friends friends from the Catskills is my Honey’s official/unofficial best man while my brother is the official “keeper of the rings” as the rings lay on a small table along side the best man.
- THE DANCES: The bride & groom 1st dance as Mr. & Mrs., the bride dances with her Father, sadly😢 these won’t happen. These two special parts of any wedding have haunted my dreams my entire life.
- THE DRESS: The most important part of the day for every girl for sure. Every girl wants to look and feel beautiful, feel like a princess on that special day. Every girl is aware of Kleinfeld’s “Say Yes to the Dress” and every girl wishes/dreams of visiting Kleinfeld’s with their wedding party but, sadly, being in this wheelchair and other reason I am not able to visit such a store. Instead, I am left to finding a dress online; first searching, then ordering, then waiting for delivery, then trying to schedule a day/time that my cousin if free to come over to help me try on and then sadly possibly/probably returning a few and starting all over again. As of this writing I still do not have a final YES to the dress. I do have two possibilities both need professional tailoring. Special THANK YOU to Domenic’s Cleaners & Tailors, Domenic has generously offered to come to my house to assist in alterations, again I am so very grateful for the support Domenic is offering!
- PICTURES/PHOTOGRAPHER: Here is another piece of the day that has me up late at night trying to figure out. What will the pictures be? No Father/Daughter dance picture, No Mr. & Mrs. dance, no husband & wife silhouette pictures, just no “normal” wedding pictures. I called a couple photographers and explained my situation of being #paralyzed and in a wheelchair and my overall concerns of how to do nice/romantic pictures but sadly none of the photographers I called (Todd Shapera Photography, Dideo Films Photography, Christine Ashburn Photography: Hudson Valley Wedding & Elopement Photographer) has returned the call. Again, I Googled “winter wheelchair bride” or “wheelchair bride” and other key words/phrases only to find there are virtually NO images of a wheelchair bride. There are many many many beautiful pictures of a husband & wife standing on a bridge, standing under an arch, walking in a snow covered field or kissing on a snowy day, etc., etc., etc. NO winter wheelchair bride images! As of this writing, I still do not have a photographer in place.
- MUSIC: what music will be playing? There will be no dancing so does that mean there will be no music while everyone is eating/mingle ling? My Honey is the person doing music for the day’s event so I will put my trust in him as always.
I’m sure that my Mother too may have had dreams of this day and what she and my Father wanted for me. I am SO VERY GRATEFUL🙏 that both my parents are here to be a part of this very special occasion in my life! To them I also say THANK YOU; while we may have had to forego a few things, change a few things or add a few new things, I know my parents will give me the best wedding day possible.!
To my cousins that have taken on the duties of minister, coordinator and maid of honor, THANK YOU! They have each stepped in to ensure that I truly feel like a bride, I will forever be grateful 🙏
As always, I wish you a journey filled with exploring new people, places and things – take time to learn from and enjoy each new adventure along your way!
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