Today my Honey took my Mother to her heart ❤️ doctor 👨⚕️ for her 6 month check-up, thankfully she is doing well in her overall health! The doctor’s office is only about 15 minutes away, but, my Mother’s knees are so bad she finds it difficult to drive 🚗 and then have to walk from parking lot the building. With me not able to drive my Mother, (thanks to #surgerygonewrong left me #paralyzed and confined to a #wheelchair 👩🦽) my Honey graciously offered.
With my Father being bedridden, we try not to leave him alone. Hmm, now what do we do, I’m not physically able to help my Father or actually do anything for my Father, but, if something were to happen I can at least call 911 📲, so, I stayed with my Father. I sat in his room as he slept 🛏️, the TV 📺 was on our local news station and the sounds of my Father’s oxygen concentrator filled the emptiness of the room. My Father is 84, legally blind and after working 45ish years in construction working on large loud pieces of equipment he has lost the majority of his hearing.
It’s days and situations like this that I find myself wondering who I feel more sorry for? I feel sorry for my Mother (82) having to take care of my Father and she herself needs a walker to get around the house. I feel sorry for my Father because while he does have early dementia, there are many times he knows where he is and what he wants and doesn’t want and what he can and can no longer do on his own. And there is me and my Honey, I feel sorry for my Honey that he is the only person we have to rely on, to depend on, to lean on. I feel sorry for myself for no longer able to walk, thereby not able to do for my elderly parents,
My Father never even realized I was sitting in his room, which to be honest, I’m grateful for that. If he had known I was there I would have felt even worse because I couldn’t go get him a cup of coffee ☕ which is one of the only things he asks for these days. After my Father gave me a life filled with love and support, taught me to be strong and confident in myself, never to depend or need anyone, to think for myself, I’m not able to get him a cup of coffee breaks my heart 💔
I hope everyone reading this understands that loosing your physical ability is hard, hard to accept, hard to learn how to do things you use to do, how to adjust to smiling when you have nothing to smile about, hard to be happy when there is nothing in your world that makes you happy, etc., etc.
As always, I wish you a journey filled with exploring new people, places and things – take time to learn from and enjoy each new adventure along your way!
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